Four years ago, I remember every second of snuggling your squishy, wrinkled body in a soft pink sleeper that said, “Mommy’s perfect angel” on it. And for that one night at least, you were. But since that day you have:
- Almost never slept through the night
- Doused your hair in both peanut butter and vaseline
- Repeated every curse word you’ve ever heard
- Shouted, “Look that’s a grandma!” to every middle aged woman seen in public
- Hidden silently in the clothing racks at Target while your desperate mom crawls on the floor searching for tiny feet
- Stolen checkout items in your pockets
- Required more than one call to poison control
- And the list goes on….
You, my dear, are far from a perfect angel. But we wouldn’t have you any other way. Your mischievous spirit and abundant energy have breathed life into this family. You have taught me the very definition of individuality. Though it likely doesn’t always feel like it, I admire, and even envy, your spirit unrestricted by norms and rules. It’s the same spirit that drew me to your dad, after all. One that I sit in awe of, and am perpetually captivated by.
When your sisters get compliments on their “pretty dresses” while you stand by in mismatched athleisure wear and flip flops that don’t fit. When you get in trouble for playing ball inside. When you play rough and get scolded because “girls will be girls” isn’t exactly a thing. Don’t let it dampen your fire. (Or cause an explosion for that matter.)
Just keep being the you-est you there is. As your little body continues to grow into that mighty personality, I promise to have patience with you if you’ll have some with me. Your fits are exhausting, your actions confusing and your stunts, dangerous. I am on the edge of my seat watching your every move and while most of it’s downright impressive, it is sometimes also frightful. I jump and scream and lose my cool.
We wear each other out, no doubt. Me by your constant “on” state and relentless pursuit of thrills, and you by my anxiety and never ending stop-doing-thats. You are not my “mini” as they say, so it will take me a while to fully understand you. I truly you hope you always push boundaries and challenge the status quo. And in the meantime, I hope you’ll still love me as I do whatever it takes to help us both survive this stage of life.