What It’s Like to Be Officially Outnumbered.

Going from two kids to three kids has been my life’s greatest joy…and greatest kick in the hoo-ha (more-so figuratively because once you’ve pushed out two kids, you already pee every time you jump on a trampoline). Our house is so full of life and laughter and love, and at the same time so full of tears and crumbs and dirty underwear (seriously, why do I find it EVERYWHERE?).

Anyway, there are completely rational explanations for the daily three-ring circus.

You only have two ears, at least one kid is not being heard at all times.

You only have two arms, which means one kid is not getting their food set down at the table at the exact same moment as the others.

You only have two eyes, so there is at least one child out of your sight at all times undoubtedly coloring on walls, pocketing check-out candy or sampling Windex.

And it’s not just me. Look at the photo proof of these families Before 3 and After 3, folks. This is a real phenomenon.

Screen Shot 2018-10-12 at 10.15.44 AM

Screen Shot 2018-10-12 at 3.11.44 PMAnd when your spouse is around, it’s equally chaotic. While you at least have more ears, arms and eyes than you have kids, they still have you outnumbered from a human-to-human ratio. And they know it. And they freakin’ love it.

The six year old knows if she sneaks away quietly to her room with her iPad, it will be at least 30 minutes before anyone notices. The three year old knows if she sneaks snacks from the pantry, it will likely go completely unnoticed. The baby knows if everyone leaves the room, even for one split second, it is time to cry.

It will come as no surprise to say that we’re still adjusting to the outnumbered life. (RIP everyone looking in the general direction of the camera). We haven’t quite figured out where gym time and home cooked dinners fit into this mix (unless they’re pre-prepped on Sundays which sometimes happens and sometimes doesn’t). But I know that we’ll get there, just before it’s time to figure out how to juggle three activities schedules.

The moms who have gone before us, especially my own, are what keep me going. People have survived this stage of life, and we will too.

Until then, coffee and wine.

Advertisements